The Wild East

"They looked at my British passport and made me an immediate member!"

Tuesday 6 August
We got thrown out of first class by a stern looking conductor, who 'tut-tut'ed us as we moped back to secong class. The seats have mostly cleared now as everyone seems to have got off at Nis. We are now heading for Bulgaria, and I sight my first Bulgarians.
Two large men with moustaches wearing the uniform of a special services deatchment of the army.
We have already had our passports stamped, but they stop in surprise outside our carriage amazed that there are actually people wanting to get into Bulgaria.
They ask where we've come from. We reply Turkey. They grin at each other and then begin to perform, before our very eyes, a belly-dance...or at least what they think is a belly-dance.
We are staring in amazement at 'professional' soldiers dancing for foreigners and suddenly there faces become stern again.

They point at Taylor's bag and ask what's inside. Before MT has a chance to answer, they decide what's in the bag.
'Bomb' they announce casually.
Taylor's eyebrows shoot up a couple of inches and his face goes rather pale.
They break into a smirk again and stagger off.

We arrive in Sofia, it's late and as we check out the city centre hotels we notice the number of gypsies there are, hassling people for money or food.
One is squatted against a tree, relieveing herself. We get checked in and for the first time in weeks enjoy the luxuries of satellite TV, before MT announces the plan for the night: The Princess Casino.

Mark was here two years ago, and was due to go to Turkey when an earthquake struck. The generous insurance company put him up in the 5 star princess hotel with attached Princess Casino and he was eager to brandish his card to see if we could get in.
On the way there, we were accosted by a gypsy prostitute who offered us "Gypsy sex" for 20Leva (7 quid) or "gooooood BJ" 15Leva (a fiver).
After hearing the prices I find it hard to stifle laughter.
This still doesn't put her off and she pesters us for a few more minutes before we come in site of the Princess Hotel and Casino.

I'd never been in a Bulgarian Casino before. I'd have predicted it would be full of drunk Russian men in tracksuits, with a atmosphere that is dark, dirty, and unsafe inside.
But the Princess Casino was bright, very clean and very very smart.
We marched up to the Casino reception desk, Taylor miraculously got in on his 2 year old card, and invited me in as his guest. They looked at my British passport and made me an immediate member!

Our membership cards are swiped, we pass through the metal detector and we are in the casino.

Some of the characters in the casino:

Suited Thug Brawn over brains. Very powerfully built, possibly armed. Probably ex-Police. Will escort you from the premises (after they kick the S- out of you). I don't know what you get kicked out for. Maybe if you grope or attempt to snog the hostesses (very tempting!) Overseers/Managers Red jackets. Head of the roulette game. They are probably looking out for professional players, where they call for the services of the suited thugs. They are probably have university degrees, and are good at mental arithmetic. Hostesses Both types are v. v. beautiful with wearing v. short skirts. There is a hierarchy. a) Roulette wheel. Red Jackets. A skilled job demanding lots of concentration, looking after the money. b) Waitresses Blue uniforms. Give the customers drinks.

Customers (3 types) Serious players. Usually middle-Eastern, aged 45-60. Very rich. Always on mobile to business contact/agent/stockbroker. Dress= expensive suit. Spend at least $100+ in an evening. Normal players. Probably guests in $150/night hotel. Dress= smart/casual. Spend $10-50. Occasionally have a $5 flutter on roulette wheel. Jokers (Me, MT, a few others). Have got into casino by some fluke. Dress= scruffy, trainers, jeans, sandals, tracksuits. Spending power $0-3. Usually confined to jokers (computer) roulette/games.

It was like being a child in a sweet shop. We each exchanged $1, which gave us 20 tokens. We spent 15 mins watching the roulette table.
(Taylor: "You can see right up those skirts!"). We allowed ourselves a controlled leer at the girls.

MT headed for the fruit machines (1994 Sega technology). He clicked his fingers and a gorgeous waitress minced over, and Taylor ordered some free beers.
She looked me straight in the eye as if to say 'what are scum like you doing in here'.
After a few minutes things weren't going very well. I hadn't won anything and was losing tokens at an alarming rate. MT was looking smug, being on +8 and able to control waitresses with a click of his fingers to bring him more beer.
Then something strange happened.

The machine started making a whurring sound.
I started pressing buttons. Nothing happened. Lights flashed. I was terrified I'd somehow broken it, and shoved another tokens.
Then suddenly 77 tokens rattled out with an almighty din. A few goes later another 33 came out. Suddenly I was on +110 (+$11).
Something wasn't right- I had no right to be here, I'd been given free beers off the waitresses, and now I was being paid 3 days Bulgarian wages for my troubles. I thought the world was suddenly going to turn mad.
Taylor's grin had turned to disgust, he puts down the third beer of the evening, "I invite you in here, and this is what happens…".

We explored the computer poker and Jokers roulette (both 1994 technology, and 3p a time).
By midnight after the effects of more free beers we were openly leering at the girls. It was very quiet.
They were probably bored, and would occasionally dance a little jig in front of us. Over the course of the night we managed to acquire a little more money.
I finished on +100 ($10), and Taylor broke even.
We had a few further encounters with our gypsy friend on the way back.
Business was apparantly not good and prices were getting cheaper.

Tuesday 6 August

We spent the next day exploring Sofia.
That night we decided to go to the Princess Casino earlier, but we attempted to do everything the same way as before to keep our good fortune going. This included me dropping coins out of my pocket and MT humming the same tunes.
Our gypsy friend was touting for business on the other side of the road that night, we though we'd escape but she runs over when she spotted us.
It was busier in the casino that night. Unfortunately there were a lot more attendants around.

On the roulette wheel there was a Saudi/Egyptian/UAE/Kuwaiti businessman in a grey suit.
MT spied he had $150 chips. He had about 20 of them, 3 grand on the table.
I order some beers in Bulgarian. The waitress has difficulty keeping a straight face.
Due to the large number of attendants around we split up to divert attention. I try my luck at Jokers (3p a go) roulette. I manage to accumulate about 12p over an hour and a half using an MB games strategy (1+ 2 + 4…).
Each computerised roulette wheel has 8 seats around it. I manage to bide lots of time sitting in one position, making a big show of spending lots of money, and rattling my bucket. I get up for a walk round, then sit down at the same table in a different position.
There is a fellow Joker in an Adidas tracksuit top and jeans with exactly the same strategy. With cameras everywhere, and the management staring at me a lot it isn't fooling anyone, but Grey Suit is paying for the beers tonight.
Taylor has a good night and finishes on +50. I do poorly with -10.

With great regret we left the casino, and were not expecting to visit again, but 'half of everything is fate'. (Trevelyan 1986)

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